Period.
Because in my brain, diet = temporary and restrictive. And after it's done I can go back to how I WANT to eat, and then it totally defeats the purpose. I also find that when I have something (especially an inanimate thing) telling me what to do makes me just fight doing it harder. It's the rebel in me.
I have to know the why's. And the how's. And eat or not eat something because of how it makes ME FEEL, or not feel, and I have to come up with the idea. I know, I'm a dork. But I'm entirely at peace with my dorky-ness.
I'm finding that the more knowledge I gain about foods, exercise, mental health, etc. the more I'm able to stick to whatever "plan" I've made for myself.
It's all about gaining knowledge about MY body. Last night the hubs and I checked out our BMI's (I really liked this calculator, it went beyond telling me how flawed I was!) and mine is 24.9- In the normal range, but barely.
So I learned: It needs to come down more into the healthy range.
I've also learned this past week, with my running, MY body can't handle it EVERY DAY. And it's REALLY frustrating! I have the stamina, and I have the desire, but my poor knees just KILL from the impact of the run. So now that I have this knowledge, I can adjust. Now I know that this week I'm going to alternate running and some other exercise.
I may even try Jillian Michael's sedentary-to-5K plan.
This last week, MENTALLY I had some great breakthroughs and I HONESTLY feel like my diet and exercise (I didn't do so hot this past week exercising, gah! 3 days is better than 0 days though!) up to this point have really helped me "come to." I finally feel like I'm catching glimpses of normalcy in my head finally. And I should probably clarify: It's not like I'm constantly depressed, or anxious to the point of being dysfunctional. l simply am abnormally anxious for certain things and would avoid certain situations simply out of fear, and I'd get the anxiety of bathing my kids, etc. The weird, totally irrational thoughts about my children. It happens a LOT more than we think or like to admit, I think - But I'd also just not feel any type of desire or emotion in general other than anxiety and worry. My brain will instantly go to the worst possible scenarios of any situation.
BUT this last week I actually thought, "Hmm...It might be fun to go boating sometime!" Not that we'll actually have the opportunity, but simply HAVING the thought is HUGE! And this last week we also did SUPER well not eating any of that extra "junk" food and keeping busy; I honestly feel like it has helped me a TON. I'm wanting to be social, I'm wanting to try new things, I'm wanting to do fun "outings" like I used too...
And I feel good about that.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Do you struggle with some of these things? How do you dig in your cleats and fight it?
Adding some weight/resistance training on the days you don't run should improve weight loss. Also have you thought about buying a gazelle? You can get one for $100 and their much easier on the knees than running. I have one, but shamefully it spends more time under my bed than me using it, not because I don't like it, but as you were saying about digging your heals in. . . yeah, exercise is the hard one for me.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your new blog Jill. Keep going with the exercise. The key is consistency, but I know it takes awhile to get there. You are doing a great job! :)
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