Fighting My Fear.

I had every reason not to go. Every normal excuse, I could have used.

My house is trashed.

I need to do laundry.

My sink is piled high full of dishes.

It was a little early.

I need to make up our menu/shopping list, and go grocery shopping.

And my only legitimate excuse for not wanting to go was me.

I was scared.

And anxious.

And so I HAD to go.

Because I made a promise before we moved here to the hubs- That I wouldn't let my own anxiety and fear rob our children (and our family as a whole) of experiences and memories.

Coming around the highway, you get to a certain part of the road where it's nothing but lake in front of you. That's when I started to panic. And then I just repeated my own little motto in my head, "I'm a strong woman, and I can do hard things..."

Going to the lake for a few hours likely wouldn't be that big of a deal to most people. But for me, it's one of my anxiety things. See, a huge reason for my push in exercise and self-reflection and refining is because I'm trying to fight my way out of some PPA/PPD (postpartum anxiety/depression). After Bug was born (our baby girl, born in December), and before then really, I knew I was at a serious risk for it considering I'd had a miscarriage only a month before she was conceived and so my body had gone through the ringer.

But I refuse to let it be an excuse any more. I choose to fight through my fears. Know my weaknesses and then stare them in the face.

And you know what?

It was fun!!

I had a good time...

Enjoyed the company of some other fantastic student wives...

He didn't drown...

He even swam out and away without me freaking out- The other girls were quite impressed...

And she didn't have a heat stroke-

Exhibit A: Fears can be fought. Even when you have every excuse in the book not to. Even if it means adding cleaning out the van and all the sand we brought home to the list of previously mentioned excuses...